Great Expectations
It is a normal human trait to have expectations for ourselves and our life. Some of us have high levels of expectancy, and some of us have low levels of expectancy, and there are also some individuals who have absolutely no expectations in life whatsoever. Without any expectations either of ourselves, or for ourselves, this means we have no expectations for how our life could, would, or should unfold.
We all have hopes, wishes and dreams for ourselves and this should never stop, but having expectations in our life is very different. We obviously reserve a certain level of expectation for people who we know well, but subconsciously we also have a level of expectancy of complete strangers. But what actually awaits us on the other side of our expectations are quite often the result of the preconceived thoughts, feelings and emotions which we feed to our own imagination. And it is through our mental capacity to engage with our imaginative creativity, that our visions of whatever is ahead of us are eventually brought forth, and made manifest in our life.
It is completely understandable and also healthy to have a basic and reasonable level of expectation, for both ourselves and indeed other people whom we encounter day to day. But it is these expectations - whether reasonable or unreasonable - that we regularly place on others, which are the root cause of most of our upset, our disappointment, our frustration, and our pain in life. It is within these experiences of pain - where we have subconsciously allowed our disappointment of another persons failure to meet or live up to our level of expectancy - where we accept and internalise this failure as a reflection and even a self-projection of our own lack of self-worth, self-acceptance, and personal validity.
Having any expectations of how another person should behave, should speak, and should even think, will only produce a life filled with disaster. While we are busy with our list of expectations of other people, we are all too often ignoring our expectations of ourselves. We may have requirements which we need from others, but what about all the requirements that we ourselves actually need from ourselves? We place our expectations on other people based on our own ideas and desires of how we want, need, and believe we deserve to be treated. We all have an innate need to be treated with at least a basic level of respect, and we equate the manner in which others relate and communicate with us as confirmation of their perspective of our value. But it is these expectations we have of other people that are actually based on the expectations we have of ourselves. This means that if we do not have a high level of expectancy either of or for ourselves and our life, then we will inevitably be both projecting and expecting the very same low level of expectancy of ourselves, both to and from others.
Having a high level or great expectations for both ourselves and how our life may possibly unfold, is what makes the world turn in our favour. Whatever our level of expectancy both for and of ourselves, it is within these levels that we are manifesting and pulling our reality towards us. Having either very low levels or absolutely no expectations of either ourselves or other people, means we are willing to accept both life and other people however they may show up. While this can feel like the correct way to live - as an accepting and open-minded individual, who simply goes with the ebb and flow of everyday life - having minimal expectations of ourselves and others to present at even an acceptable level and standard in life, is what makes our world turn in the opposite and unfavourable direction. This is when we have unfortunately chosen to believe that life is happening to us, instead of for us.
This is the mindset we adopt when we decide not to expect much from life, because what we are actually choosing to do is give away our power. We are choosing to see ourselves simply as pawns in the game of life, instead of the main player. We are choosing to accept whatever turns up in our life whether positive or negative, with the belief that we are truly powerless to do anything to change the outcome of the effect it will have on us. We are making the troubling decision not to take full control and responsibility for ourselves and our own life. We may even find ourselves affirming “It is, what it is” as a mantra of resignation and submission, as we misguidedly believe the situation or circumstance which has unfolded is none of our doing, and is therefore completely out of our hands.
The most common expectations we have from others are generally based around honesty, loyalty, compassion and understanding. However, the reality of life proves time and again, that these are human traits which we all have free will to choose to either accept or reject as part of our character or nature. This is why there is an increasing number of people who are choosing to have either very low expectations of both other people and even themselves, or no expectations at all. This is a method which is being deployed in an attempt to avoid the inevitable trials and tribulations of life, with the misaligned mentality that the omission of any expectations equates to no pain. This is a false, self-sabotaging, and emotionally damaging belief, that if we do not put ourselves in the position to expect good and healthy behaviour from both ourselves and other people, then their bad and unhealthy behaviour cannot surprise us, disappoint us, and therefore cannot affect us. But real life will always have other plans.
Life has a way of bringing us exactly what we need to see, feel, and experience, regardless of our attempts to swerve any forthcoming perils. Our expectations - or lack thereof - are simply a reflection of what we feel about ourselves and our life, based on the experiences we have either endured in the past, or we may have witnessed for other people. Whatever we feel about ourselves or others, will be the energy which is swirling around us, and emanating from us. This is the energy we are offering to our environment, other people we encounter, and above all else, this is the energy we are sending out into the atmosphere of the world and the universe. And as the universe can only reflect back what we have first unconsciously sent towards it - by way of low level thoughts of lack disguised as unexpectancy - we can only receive the same reality in response.
If we lived in a world where everyone had only positive and productive expectations in life, and every single one of these expectations were consistently met, would we be happier? We would simply take our life for granted. We would not appreciate the struggle, the hard work, and the determination it takes to make the self-empowering and self-improving changes necessary. We would be robbed of the never-ending opportunities to believe, strive, and achieve better for ourselves and others. Therefore regardless of what the expectations other people have of either themselves or us, this should not play any role in our own expectations for ourselves. We need only have a duty to expect the best of and from ourselves. We can expect to behave with integrity, humility, and respect towards ourselves and other people always. We can expect to offer compassion, empathy and understanding for the plight of both ourselves and other people, for our own human choices not to endeavour to raise our levels of expectancy until we are ready, and we have learned how to effectively do so.
When the famous English author Charles Dickens wrote the world acclaimed novel ‘Great Expectations’ it was clear to see that he fully understood the concept of how having an mindset based in expectations, assumptions, and suppositions can lead us down a path of preconceived delusion, and even entitlement, which serves only to increase our distress when these expectations fall short. This highly popular novel set in London in the early to mid-19th century takes us on a soul searching journey of self-discovery, which perfectly depicts how regardless of whatever expectations we may hold for ourselves and other people, when it comes to everyday matters such as love, finances and our physical and mental health, we really do not know what awaits us up ahead.
Our expectations for ourselves, and the expectations other people place on us will never completely align, because they were not designed to. We are all here to continuously challenge ourselves to improve, to keep pushing ourselves towards a better understanding of our humanness, and achieve a much better quality of life for generations to come. The forecast, predictions and anticipation we have for our life, all depend on how we view ourselves. Do we truly have great expectations for ourselves and our evolution? Do we honestly see, feel, and cherish ourselves as valuable and vital human beings? In this unforeseen and astonishing world of many positive possibilities, prospects and achievements, however we choose to live our life, the one thing which we can and should indeed expect, is the unexpected.
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